Fully clothed, dressed up,
with an arrogant air,
went from one destination into another,
thinking it would be the last.
But as usual compiled,
to pack my bags and forced to leave.
When I had no more destinations to explore,
I came back to the one where I thought,
the door would always be open…. for me.
With my bags and baggage,
fully clothed I came back,
shamelessly running towards the door,
to find the door closed...on me. ..Forever.
a shiver in my spinal cord,
so intense I felt it shot straight through my heart.
Fully clothed….I felt so naked.
Ashamed. Humiliated. I stood looking ahead with no road ahead.
bystanders stood too….looking at my nudity with a vulgar lust.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Right places which can be so Wrong!!
I walked into my office…and for the first time, really looked at people as they were!
I saw a young man; with gloomy face who loved rock music, had weird hair do (looked cute on him). I once asked him-what he really liked doing? He said he loved theatre a lot. That was his ‘dream job’. I wondered how he would portray ‘hamlet’ on stage! That character would really suit him. I was deep in my thoughts, mean while he was talking to his customers threatening them with legal notice if they did not pay their dues. What a mis match he being hamlet and what he worked as- a collection officer in the credit department.
When she swayed while walking, men drooled. She knew she was a rage, a phenomenon, the rush she gave men. She pretended not to know, but how she loved the effect she had on men. Some women also did secretly admire her (I once over heard a colleague of mine who said, I would love to switch over as lesbian for Ms.A). She was custom made to be a model- Tall-5.8, V.S- 34.26.36.Dark. She could give Naomi Campbell a run for her job. She worked in the operations. I could see her beauty wasted everyday. She should have been on ramp. When ever I met her in cafeteria, in the fresh room, in the lift, I always said ‘A, you should have been a model’, she as usual pauses and says- ‘J, how I wish!’
He went on and on...quoting Thoreau, Leo Tolstoy, and Bernard Shah. He once said,’ “Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness… give me truth.”It was said, when our targets were not met. I never understood the connection between the quote and the purpose of our meeting (we call such meetings as screw up session!!). But Mr.V’s meetings were always different. It metamorphed from screwed up meetings into attainment of nirvana sessions. I loved Mr. V’s meetings. It meant so much, but our office’s money minded dorks never got the point. Mr. V headed Wealth management. He believed in ethics, asked us never to mis sell, never swindled client’s money. His sub ordinates always made fun of him. He should have been a philsopher, a teacher. What was he doing’ here...I wondered!
He was the quiet one, never flamboyant, never flashy, and never bluffed. Sadly, he never met his targets too. He was very shy. He was every S.U session’s punching bag. I really saw who he was during those recreational sessions (management arranged such games or matches to get us motivated to perform better!!) he played cricket match with such vigor; we never expected S would pull up such a grand century. He was the weekend hero. On Monday, I imagined he would come like a king to show target driven performs the exit door. Unfortunately, sales never drove him. Back to square one - poor performer. He should have been a cricketer. Hmmm!!
He spoke about organic farming; he spoke about equal distribution of wealth. He wanted to go back to his roots, do something for his people who knew nothing about scientific farming. I could see conviction in his voice, with glitters in his eyes. But sadly, he everyday did what he never liked. He sold Mutual Funds!!
She fed every stray puppy, cried at every beggar’s sight. She was compassion personified. She visited NGO’s on rare occasions due to time constraints. She loved animals. Her dream was to do something for animals or for have-nots. She spoke at length about her interests and regretted not working in NGO. She sold insurance to clients who never wanted to be insured or knew nothing about such intricacy.
How many such cases I come across. People always did or worked where and what they never wanted to. I wonder why cant they or don’t pursue their passion. Don’t we all have right to be happy?
Do commitments; necessitous; money; family obligations; fear of unknown; crush our dreams, our real happiness, our passions? Are we all scared to be who we really are? Aren’t we all murderers when we merciless kill the child in us which craves to dream, to fly, to be happy, to be FREE.
(I quote these verses taken from-Into the wild…“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”)
I saw a young man; with gloomy face who loved rock music, had weird hair do (looked cute on him). I once asked him-what he really liked doing? He said he loved theatre a lot. That was his ‘dream job’. I wondered how he would portray ‘hamlet’ on stage! That character would really suit him. I was deep in my thoughts, mean while he was talking to his customers threatening them with legal notice if they did not pay their dues. What a mis match he being hamlet and what he worked as- a collection officer in the credit department.
When she swayed while walking, men drooled. She knew she was a rage, a phenomenon, the rush she gave men. She pretended not to know, but how she loved the effect she had on men. Some women also did secretly admire her (I once over heard a colleague of mine who said, I would love to switch over as lesbian for Ms.A). She was custom made to be a model- Tall-5.8, V.S- 34.26.36.Dark. She could give Naomi Campbell a run for her job. She worked in the operations. I could see her beauty wasted everyday. She should have been on ramp. When ever I met her in cafeteria, in the fresh room, in the lift, I always said ‘A, you should have been a model’, she as usual pauses and says- ‘J, how I wish!’
He went on and on...quoting Thoreau, Leo Tolstoy, and Bernard Shah. He once said,’ “Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness… give me truth.”It was said, when our targets were not met. I never understood the connection between the quote and the purpose of our meeting (we call such meetings as screw up session!!). But Mr.V’s meetings were always different. It metamorphed from screwed up meetings into attainment of nirvana sessions. I loved Mr. V’s meetings. It meant so much, but our office’s money minded dorks never got the point. Mr. V headed Wealth management. He believed in ethics, asked us never to mis sell, never swindled client’s money. His sub ordinates always made fun of him. He should have been a philsopher, a teacher. What was he doing’ here...I wondered!
He was the quiet one, never flamboyant, never flashy, and never bluffed. Sadly, he never met his targets too. He was very shy. He was every S.U session’s punching bag. I really saw who he was during those recreational sessions (management arranged such games or matches to get us motivated to perform better!!) he played cricket match with such vigor; we never expected S would pull up such a grand century. He was the weekend hero. On Monday, I imagined he would come like a king to show target driven performs the exit door. Unfortunately, sales never drove him. Back to square one - poor performer. He should have been a cricketer. Hmmm!!
He spoke about organic farming; he spoke about equal distribution of wealth. He wanted to go back to his roots, do something for his people who knew nothing about scientific farming. I could see conviction in his voice, with glitters in his eyes. But sadly, he everyday did what he never liked. He sold Mutual Funds!!
She fed every stray puppy, cried at every beggar’s sight. She was compassion personified. She visited NGO’s on rare occasions due to time constraints. She loved animals. Her dream was to do something for animals or for have-nots. She spoke at length about her interests and regretted not working in NGO. She sold insurance to clients who never wanted to be insured or knew nothing about such intricacy.
How many such cases I come across. People always did or worked where and what they never wanted to. I wonder why cant they or don’t pursue their passion. Don’t we all have right to be happy?
Do commitments; necessitous; money; family obligations; fear of unknown; crush our dreams, our real happiness, our passions? Are we all scared to be who we really are? Aren’t we all murderers when we merciless kill the child in us which craves to dream, to fly, to be happy, to be FREE.
(I quote these verses taken from-Into the wild…“So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”)
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