...........

Feelings ,emotions are

crystal clear,

Then why does it translate,

into such messed up words.

Mother-Child. Child-Mother....

Everything changed, winters came,summer went by. People changed.Those who have to stay;stayed.Those who have to leave;left.The only thing which ceased to change was my tower of strength, one who endures me, who stood by me all thro'-My mother.

I refused to believe that she could ever get old, i was immensely proud of her. i rejoiced in her success, got carried away by her fame. I lived her success and she lived my failures.

I yearned for her love, her touch, her warmth, her smile. I soaked in her love. She absorbed my anger,my revenge,my envy,my arrogance. She took my hatred.

She was evergreen, my hero....she was always;strong, all enduring,someone who could never get old!!

Recently i saw her graying hairs, the queer in her voice when she is tensed(which never existed before),saw amount of tabs she gulps,the pain in her eyes when i'm in sorrow,those wrinkles,each wrinkle had a story.

Time stood frozen. That's when i grew up...in that moment.
I was her mother and she was my child.

The calling....

Miss that rustic life where everything is so simple. Fed up with luxuries and complexities of life. The more i get intertwined...the more hypocrites i encounter.
Will surely get back to my roots....to the rustic village.

The Wait.

Have always longed for that footsteps which is so aloud yet so far.

That knock on my door, the wait kills me.

Have waited for so long, years have passed. My moments spent feverishly.

When the wait seemed futile, when I give up...I hear the knock.

I freeze.

I know the foot steps, the knock so well,the move,the rhythm.

I knew my lover stood beyond the closed door.

With every knock of his I died with it.

I ceased to open the door!!

He turned away and left.

My heart lurched with the pain of sending him away.

I loved him too much, I longed for his touch, kiss, his warmth... all my life.

I loved him enough to let him go...to another woman.

I knew he would see only me in every woman he met, slept,loved and held.

I gleamed with joy.

Oh love...thy name is revenge!

Spectator!!

I am somebody’s muse-
He wanted to paint me nude,
I agreed….
All he saw was another man’s,
Impressions on each part of me,
He searched for me in ‘Me’!


He wanted to write a poem –
He wanted an inspiration,
I agreed….
He searched for a hint of me in me,
All he found was another man’s works of art!


He was furious-
He was up against a man, who was crafted all over me,
The visible man and invisible man fought feverishly...
...and,
I took each blow with an excruciating pain-
I succumbed to their love and hate!

Difference b/w him n her!

Over a cup of tea....one evening...

I : Met a good looking govt officer,sensible...

He: Wow...thats news...Govt officer...sensible.

I: Ya, but e boozes a lot.

He: So what??...(Surprised look)

I : He fags as well.

He: So what again...(more surprised)

I : He sleeps around.

He: Oh come on J, dont brand him,tarnish his image!

Another evening; over a cup of tea...

I: I met a lady govt officer today...had great conversation.She is sensible too.

He: ok.

I:She boozes.

He: "That look"( a frown)

I: She fags at times.

He: Oh!!..(frown still hanging in there)

I:She sleeps around.

He:(completely offended) Woman like this spoil our culture,our country's image!!

I: (Flabbergasted)...!!!

Its.....Forms!

The old remote longings get stored at the end of your spinal cord. That's from where the unspent energies erupt...when least expected! That's their inception point. The old cravings of longings gushes out in intense form...as tsunami, as volcano...all set to ruin what ever it encounters on its way!

The desire to become a creator...ends up in becoming a destroyer.

Isn't it all form of love, lust and intensity...to make and unmake.